The Seeds of Change

At this time of year the sound of tractors and combine harvesters can be heard through many rural areas.  As farm workers work late into the night bringing in the crops that were planted earlier this year I find myself thinking about the time that is spent in therapy, planting seeds.

There is something quite exiting about planting seeds, an expectation that something good will grow in time.  Some seeds grow quite quickly with foliage that reaches far and wide in no time at all and some grow more steadily so that you can watch each leaf appear, slowly revealing itself.  Sometimes you don’t know exactly what to expect but you plant them anyway in good faith and wait.

We all know that things are happening under the surface even without looking directly.  We just have to wait until the first signs of growth appear.  Uncovering the seed to check on its progress would disturb the early growth and risk damaging the roots needed to support the new shoots that appear.  Once those new shoots break free of the soil they need to be nurtured, supported and protected from harm.  With the right kind of care these young tender shoots will develop into mature growth

At times it seems that new growth is everywhere around us, all those seeds sprouting at once.  It is easy to enjoy the beauty of a lush garden filled with new growth but perhaps not so easy to become carried away with newly sown areas of bare earth.  However, it is in these areas that we can anticipate with excitement the new growth which those seeds will bring.

So you can start to sow the seeds of change as soon as you wish.  Therapy gives you the tools to prepare and nourish the soil to provide a fertile place for the seeds to grow.  At times you’ll consciously place each seed with an expectation of growth but the best surprises come from those seeds that are carried in on the breeze bringing the type of growth you need just at the right time. 

Maybe someday you’ll find yourself enjoying the growth that came from seeds planted long ago but don’t forget to enjoy the planting right now.  Value that time, because each seed you plant can grow into something quite wonderful.  

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant

Robert Louis Stevenson

Weight Loss – Self Awareness as a Tool for Change

Many different diets, exercise regimes and techniques are put forward as the best method of weight loss but are we helping ourselves by concentrating on these things?  Perhaps it would be better to keep our attention a little closer to home.

Self awareness could be the best tool we have for achieving our target weight and maintaining it afterwards.  Many of us think we are self aware as we live in our heads, experiencing our thoughts constantly but this is not really self awareness.  The kind of self awareness I am describing means getting in touch with how we are feeling physically and emotionally and making this awareness a conscious part of our lives. 

If I were to ask you ‘How are you right now?’ how would you answer?  Many of us would quickly answer with ‘fine’ or ‘great’ or ‘a bit stressed’ but do we really know what this means?  In order to answer the question with honesty most of us would have to check in with our body first.  Our bodies are where we experience our emotions, not our minds.  For example, if our answer to the question above is ‘I feel like I need some time out’ then we are expressing a thought or belief not an emotion.  If that same person takes time to notice the sensations of their body they will discover the underlying feelings of sadness or anger.

Try listening to your body right now.  Notice whether your muscles are tense or relaxed, notice feelings of emptiness or pressure within your body.  With practice you will become more adept at reading your body and clearer about what it is trying to tell you.  Sometimes you will be able to address the emotion and take action to change things.  You might find that you can remedy anger by taking deep breaths or sadness by undertaking an activity you enjoy.  At times you will find that you need to accept the emotion, know that it will change in time and that it is right for you to be feeling that way at that time.  The more you practice these moments of actively listening to your body the more you will learn it’s language and begin to understand what it is trying to say.  Eventually you can develop an awareness that means you are constantly in touch with your emotions.

This kind of awareness can be a great ally in our attempts to achieve a healthy, maintainable weight.  As an example, imagine a car dashboard with a vast array of warning lights connected to sensors.  Each one of these warning lights is labelled in some foreign language that we do not understand.  When a warning light is displayed we can only think of the most obvious cause and put in more petrol.  If we have not dealt with the actual cause the light will keep showing and will continue to do so regardless of how much petrol we add.  Of course eventually the petrol tank will overflow but our body’s fuel tank doesn’t.  We are capable of holding huge reserves for a later date.

If we misread what our body is telling us we may decide it needs food when it doesn’t.  No amount of food will cure anger or sadness or hurt and eating at these times will lead to storage as fat.  Learn to read your body and to recognise when you need to eat.  Most of us have a really good feedback system that tells us when to eat, and when to stop.  Learn to listen to your body before deciding to eat and listen so that you know when to stop and you’ll take in only as much as is needed to maintain your body in healthy balance.

Your body is already talking to you....  are you listening?

Are you a daydream believer?

Is daydreaming a waste of time or could there be benefits to visualising events that have not yet occurred?

Daydreaming often gets a bad press, many of us grow up being told to ‘stop daydreaming and get on with our work’. Is this advice as good as it seems or could daydreaming hold positive benefits?

It seems that visualisation; a form of deliberate daydreaming could have very real benefits.  In visualisation an individual pictures themselves as having achieved a desired goal.  They might see themselves performing well in an interview, successfully dealing with a phobia, or having achieved their target weight.

 There appear to be several benefits to this practice. Firstly, you’ve mentally rehearsed for success prior to the event, so that you know it is possible.  Secondly you can enjoy the positive feelings associated with success and use these to increase your motivation.

If you’ve not yet experienced the positive feelings which can arise during visualisation why not give it a try?

Close your eyes and begin to visualise yourself having achieved a goal that you’ve set yourself making the image as strong as possible.

Allow yourself to start to feel all those wonderful feelings associated with success.

You will find that this works best when you try to engage all of your senses.  See all of the objects and people around you; hear any relevant sounds and so on.  You can also amplify every part of your visualisation by making the colours brighter and bolder and turning the volume up.  The stronger and bolder the image the more effective it will be at helping to elicit those feelings of success. 

The more often you repeat this exercise the more practiced you will become at bringing the feelings of success to mind.  You can use these feelings to help you as you work towards your goal.

These types of visualisation are often used by hypnotherapists to help clients achieve their goals.  A therapist can help to create a really vivid visualisation with strong feelings of success.  It seems that seeing really is believing!

For more information about hypnotherapy see www.alkuonlifesolutions.co.uk

Keeping your Resolutions

So often we start the year intending to get fit, lose weight, get a new job, or start a new activity.  How can we ensure that our intentions become reality?

The first step is to state your goal clearly and including all relevant detail.  If you start with an abstract concept such as 'get fit', try and break it down into specific parts.  What does 'get fit' mean to you? A example might be 'halve my current time for a 5 mile cycle ride'.  You need to be able to assess whether you have been successful and clear goals will help with this.

It helps to add a timescale so you will know you are on target.  Without this it is difficult to assess where you are on the route to achieving your goal.  A time limit will also help to keep you motivated.

Do you have all of the resources in place to achieve the goal?  You might have to consider setting smaller goals which need to be achieved to allow success.  For example, 'get a promotion' may require smaller goals such as 'improve confidence in giving work presentations', or 'learn how to use the accounts software'.  If key requirements can't be met the goal is likely to be unachievable.  If you aim to achieve a goal through a series of smaller manageable steps the end goal will easily be achieved.

The steps described here are used by therapists and coaches in helping a client achieve their goals.  Therapy can help you to make real changes in your life in many ways.  If you want to give yourself the best chance of keeping your resolutions why not give me a call?

Autumn - A time for new beginnings?

As I sit here in my practice I'm able to look out of a large window into the back garden.  Just a quick glance is enough to confirm that we are now firmly into autumn.  The most delicate plants have already lost their leaves and those that remain are taking on hues of gold, russet and ochre.  On a day like today with a clear sky and bright sunshine there is still much greenery to be seen; only a few gaps reveal dark brown, earth where the summer flowers were once found.  But these gaps interest me most of all, for it is where summer plants have been removed or cut back I now see the early signs of new growth.  The clearing of the summer plants allows the autumn sun to bathe the exposed soil with its warmth.  New shoots appear of plants which will thrive as we move into colder months.  In some areas plants are exposed which have been present all summer but long forgotten, covered with the abundant foliage of summer.  As the sun rediscovers these plants it can nurture them with warmth and encourage them to grow so that they might be less easily forgotten in the future.

 Many people talk of autumn as a time for endings, the year is nearing its end there is no doubt that the warmth of summer is long gone.  It is only when you look a little deeper that you see the new beginnings.  The seeds of growth which can be seen when we let go of what is no longer useful.  Without removing the summer flowers we would never allow the arrival of snowdrops which are better suited to the colder weather ahead.  If we held on to the summer pansies into the winter because they had looked so good we would soon realise that they were not right for the season and we would rob ourselves of the colours of wintertime.

Perhaps it is fitting that it is in autumn that we find the beginning of the school year. Many adults also choose to start new courses and learn new skills.  It's in these new beginnings that you will find the seeds of what is to come.  There is no better time to learn new things and no better time to let go of what is no longer providing for us.